After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
