So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
