nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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