:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
