Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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