what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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