what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
