You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
