Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
