hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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