Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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