you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
