i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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