I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It was a blind-side dick pic.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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