He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let's get the cat blown out
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
