he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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