my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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