why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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