I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
