she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
