I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
