she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
