i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
