I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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