Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
