Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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