What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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