I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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