Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
