So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
