That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My balls are so social today.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
