Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
