I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
