no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
