Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
