yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
