Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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