There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
