you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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