I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
