after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
