jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
