just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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