would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
