so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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