In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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