Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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