k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
