Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
