belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
