here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
