So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
